Feeling Trapped? Here's How to Fix It
At one point or another we all feel trapped in our life in some way and we believe there is no way out. We feel that there is no choice. We bang our head against the wall, stuck within our circumstance and believe nothing can change. Feeling trapped can range from something as simple as feeling like you have to do errands or something bigger like being stuck in a job you hate. All we want is to feel free to do whatever we want when we want. It's not unusual to feel tremendous guilt or like we are being selfish for doing the things we want or even wanting to do them in the first place.
WHEN I FELT TRAPPED IN MY LIFE
Several years ago I had postpartum depression. It was pretty much the worst feeling I've ever had. The crux of my thought patterns were about being trapped in motherhood. That my life was no longer my own. And that it was really, really hard.
Yes, I had heard about these things before the baby came but nothing prepares you for the reality. I frequently wanted to run away. But I knew that I could never do that and I felt too ashamed and guilty that I was even having those thoughts.
I felt stuck. Forever.
I didn't know I was depressed at the time and that the chemicals in my brain weren't working properly. Once I figured it out I was able to get the help I needed. Through the healing process I realized something: If I really, REALLY wanted to run away I could have.
That's right. I could have up and left. People do it all the time. This was a lightbulb moment. Because once I realized that I could make the choice to leave I was able to see that I didn't actually want to .I wasn't someone who was going to make that choice. That just wasn't me.
I was choosing to stay. Even though it was hard.
After that realization, I felt relief. I felt free. I knew that the trapped feeling was in my own mind. You see, freedom comes from realizing you have a choice in everything. Even when it doesn't feel like it. Sometimes it's tricky to see the choice, but I promise, it's always there.
HOW TO STOP FEELING TRAPPED IN YOUR LIFE
1. Notice when you have thoughts like:
"I have to"
"I want to but I can't"
"I should"
"I would but it feels selfish"
"I feel guilty doing that"
2. Question your thought from number 1.
For example if you dread grocery shopping and your thought is, "I have to go to the grocery store." Ask yourself,
do I really HAVE to go to the grocery store?
What if you didn't go to the grocery store?
Some possibilities are that you might get hungry. Your family might complain. They might get hungry. You could eat out every meal. You all could starve. Those are some of the possible consequences of not going grocery shopping.
Given that those are the choices, what do you choose?
3. Once you've figured out what your two choices are. Choose freely.
Knowing that you made that choice 100% yourself. There is something that happens when you realize you have a choice and have chosen freely. You no longer feel trapped in your life.
In fact, you will feel a lot more freedom. Even when it's not a choice that's awesome, you will feel more determined to get through it.
Let me know in the comments where you would like to feel a little more freedom.