Embracing Awareness: How to Break Negative Patterns

Awareness is the first step—and often the trickiest! 

If you’ve been caught in negative thought patterns, how can you know what you don’t know you don’t know? It’s impossible to pause in a situation unless you have that awareness. A part of you needs to be watching from the sidelines. Not an easy task, right?

But here’s the good news: it’s absolutely possible.

Let’s break awareness down into doable phases. I recommend choosing only one of these steps at a time. Find the one that feels most interesting to try and go with that. 

Desire for Awareness

The first step is a desire to be aware. Wanting sets your mind on a mission. We can turn a want into an intention, which is powerful to the subconscious mind. 

When you spot a pattern that feels frustrating, speak to your subconscious by saying, 

“Show me what I’m missing.” 

Now your brain has a path, even if you don’t consciously know how to get there. This is the beginning of reprogramming your mind, and eventually your circumstances.

Reflect Backward: Healing the Past and Finding Clarity

Next, let’s focus on how to break negative patterns by reflecting backward. We can learn so much from our past! I love to be meditative during this process. If you believe you aren’t good at meditating, think of it as remembering and imagining with your eyes closed. 

Bring a memory to mind that illustrates the negative pattern you want to interrupt. Be specific. If you can’t pinpoint one, visualize the pattern as best you can.

See if you can find the moment when you get triggered. What specific action/words got you to feel annoyed, upset, frustrated, bitter, resentful, quiet, shut down, angry. 

Close your eyes and scan your body. Where do you feel it? You’ll find something. Just go with it!

Asking Questions to Uncover Insights

If you’ve found a sensation in your body you can take it one step further by asking questions (I guide you through this practice in my Intuition Workshop). 

When you pose a question, pause and listen. You’re not searching for an answer, you’re waiting for one to arise within you. 

Sometimes the answers come as words, images, or a feeling. It could even be a deep knowing, like something you understand even if you can’t quite explain how. 

Don’t overthink it—allow whatever arises. 

If nothing comes, move on to a new question. Your inner wisdom is eager to speak! 

Try some of these questions: 

“What are you trying to tell me?”

“What did that version of me need?”

“What’s the earliest time I remember feeling this way?”

If you find an unresolved situation, find a way to resolve it in your mind without changing reality (how people acted or how they are). Find a way to make it complete that makes sense to you.

Finding Closure and Moving Forward

If you uncover unresolved feelings, find a way to bring closure. 

Remember, you can’t change others or the past. For example, if your dad was harsh, you can’t rewrite his behavior or turn him into a different person. 

Instead, talk to your younger self. Acknowledge her pain. Give her a hug. Let her know it’s all going to be okay. Maybe give her a piece of wisdom or show her where she succeeds in the future.

Continuing the Work: Reprogramming Your Mind

Now that you’ve laid the groundwork, you may notice shifts in how you respond. Good job! You’ve done some energy clearing and healing. 

If the same negative pattern pops up, keep listening to your body and reflecting backward. Eventually, you’ll catch yourself in the act!

Reflecting Forward: Visualizing Positive Change

After gaining insight from reflecting backward, next you want to look forward. You can’t change people or their behavior. But you can change your thoughts, perceptions, and feelings. 

A question I often ask my clients is, “given that the situation is what it is, how do you want to feel?” What emotion would give you power in this circumstance? 

Visualize it! Imagine a scenario where you respond differently. 

Picture yourself in the future talking to a friend, saying, “Wow, he did that thing again, but this time I felt so neutral!”

Steps to Reprogram Your Mind

Repeat that imagery. Your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined. 

By daydreaming this new response, you’re reprogramming your mind. The negative patterns will be rerouted because you’re updating your navigation system! 🚀

Letting the Magic Unfold

Now, let the magic unfold. Let go of the need to control the outcome or the need to know how things will turn out.

Trust that your system knows what to do from here.

Continued awareness will help guide you where you want to go.

With love,

Carmen xo