Is Self-Sabotage Holding You Back? Emotional Resistance Might Be the Culprit

What you resist, persists. – Carl Jung.

We’ve all heard this one before—because it’s so frickin’ accurate. The harder we push our emotions down, the more they push back.

Every day, we’re confronted by emotions we’d rather not deal with. BTW if there’s a circumstance you’re avoiding, I guarantee, more specifically, it’s an emotion you’re avoiding.

Instead of letting emotions surface, we push them away—because honestly, who has time to confront all those feelings when you’re juggling career, family, self-care, the endless to-do list, and everything in between? 

But here’s the truth: ignoring emotions doesn’t make them go away. In fact, they often turn into self-sabotage, quietly holding us back from the life we keep trying to get to. 

What if understanding emotional resistance was the key to breaking that cycle? 

Let’s dive in and open the gate to your inner roadblocks.

Understanding Emotional Resistance

Emotional resistance is all about avoiding feelings that lurk beneath the surface.

We all have a shadow self—parts of us we don’t want to confront. This shadow can be filled with fears, insecurities, and even past traumas.

When we resist experiencing these emotions, we deny them the release they need, like holding back a sneeze. 

This denial can lead to unconscious actions that threaten our well-being, often manifesting as self-sabotage.

My Own Emotional Resistance

I see it all the time: “I’m afraid of what’s under there.” I used to feel this way too.

When I was 19, a friend invited me to a personal development seminar. I was intrigued because he was awesome and confident, and I wanted to be like him. 

But two things held me back: one, I didn’t think I was good enough—he was so great, and I definitely didn’t feel like I was.

And the second thing? I was terrified of what would come out.

I knew I was suppressing emotions due to past trauma, which I thought was a good thing; I believed I was keeping everything at bay so I could function.

I was afraid of the magnitude of those emotions—afraid that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. And certainly not in front of other people. The exposure of it all was paralyzing.

When I look back, I wish I had done it sooner. Because once I actually faced my emotional resistance, it always ended up better than I thought it would.

I ended up doing that seminar, and it truly changed my life. I went from feeling like a victim to feeling full of possibility.

I’m so grateful my friend supported me in that. He saw the greatness in me even when I didn’t see it in myself. 

I think at the core of our fear of facing our issues is the belief that if we open Pandora’s box, we don’t know what will come out—and that it could last forever or traumatize us worse than we already are.

It’s Like Tug of War

Imagine you’re in a tug of war with an emotion like anxiety or sadness. On one end, you’re desperately pulling against it, trying to keep it at bay or make it stop. But the more you pull, the harder it fights back.

Now, picture letting go of the rope. Suddenly, the emotion has no power over you, and it falls away.

This is what happens when we stop fighting feelings. 

It’s fascinating to think about how the more we try to ignore unwanted emotions, the more they seek expression within us.

This isn’t just a psychological concept; it’s about energy.

Energy flows where attention goes.

When we actively push down our emotions, we inadvertently strengthen them.

Softening resistance allows for emotional release, creating space for healing and growth.

Like when a child doesn’t feel heard, they get louder. Our emotions are no different.

Why Do We Resist?

Why do we hold on to these emotions in the first place?

It often comes down to identity. We identify with our feelings, believing they define us or that having them makes us weak.

That being able to suppress our emotions aka “holding it together” is the definition of strong.  

Unfortunately, this can manifest in ways that hold us back.

We may procrastinate, avoid difficult conversations, or even engage in self-destructive behaviors.

However, resisting only causes internal conflict. And this conflict is how we sabotage ourselves. 

For example, take procrastination.

When you avoid a task, it's because, deep down, a part of you perceives it as uncomfortable.

So, you're stuck between wanting to do it and resisting it, leading to avoidance.

The brain doesn’t know what to do because you’re giving it two different commands, so it does nothing.

Then, you feel guilty, labeling yourself as "lazy" or "worthless"—when really, it’s just emotional resistance at play.

Overcoming Emotional Resistance

So, how do we overcome emotional resistance?

It’s a devotional commitment to yourself that takes conscious effort and practice.

Here’s a simple, three-step plan to help you navigate this process.

1. Awareness

Start by becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings.

This means noticing the patterns you entertain daily.

Mindfulness is key! Observe your thoughts like an outsider, without judgment.

*A fantastic resource for this is Proprioceptive Writing.*

The more you practice this awareness, the easier it becomes to recognize conflicting thoughts and unconscious emotions manifesting in your life.

You can ask yourself, “why do I want to do this?” And “why do I not want to do this?”

if you want to go deeper into understanding awareness, click here.

2. Intention

Once you’re aware of your thoughts, set an intention.

Visualize yourself in the outcome you perceive as being beneficial.

See what that version of you thinks about the conflicting thoughts.

Find a way to make peace between the conflict.

The successful mind finds unique insights, especially during challenges, because it know how to think about them.

Starting with an intention gets your creative problem solving brain on board. 

3. Action

Finally, it’s time for action!

This means testing the rewiring you just did.

Practicing allows you to see where there’s ease and where there’s still conflict.

Expect setbacks—they’re a part of the process. You want to see the setbacks so you can resolve them.

When you slip back into unhelpful patterns, simply go back to Awareness and Intention and redirect yourself to your new path. 

Set aside time each day for this practice.

Whether it’s through meditation, affirmations, writing, or visualization. It doesn’t have to be perfectly consistent.

Like anything, the more you practice the better you’ll get at it. 

The Power of Letting Go

Letting go is not just an act; it’s a powerful choice.

It’s a choice to move through a stuckness. Even if it’s messy or uncomfortable.

It allows us to stop fueling unwanted emotions and opens the door to growth.

The journey may be challenging, but the rewards are immense.

You’ll find that obstacles no longer feel insurmountable.

You’ll begin to trust yourself more, embrace change, feel confident, and feel a greater sense of peace.

Break Free from Self-Sabotage with Intuition Made Simple

Emotional resistance doesn’t have to define you.

With awareness, intention, and a few tools, you’ll start noticing… “I would’ve reacted differently to this before,” —but now you’re grounded, untriggered. 

Remember, self-discovery doesn’t have to feel intimidating. A little willingness will have you stepping into a life of freedom, fulfillment, and self-trust.

If you want support along the way I have a short and sweet workshop - Intuition Made Simple - where you’ll learn how to navigate your thoughts and emotions to gain clarity, so that you can finally interrupt the cycles of self-sabotage.

So, are you ready to give it a whirl?

Join me, and let’s explore what’s possible when you finally start trusting the one person who truly knows what you need — you.